I am by profession a teacher, and I can vouch that there are certain names I hear which immediately send a shiver down my spine, as I associate that name with a particular and particularly vile student. Chinese students often choose "names" which are merely words translated into Chinglish from their original tongue, thus I have students with names like Happyway and Swallow (not an imperative form of the verb, by the way.) Naming a pet can be a nightmare as I can't think of a typical "English" name without recalling at least one student with the same moniker.Since I have about 150 students right now, that's a large pool of names I cannot draw from, even if I DID want to name the new (temporary) puppy Ballet or Pony or Jickson.
Other names seem to indicate trouble or heartbreak. Both Sissy and I have gone through hell in our lives with men named Richard, for example. They're either teachers from hell, or boyfriends who won't commit, or drunken troublemakers who borrow money and never come back. "What is it about men named Dick who break our hearts?" I asked Sissy. She replied, "Don't trust your heart to someone named after genitalia. Remember what a bitch Aunt Fanny was?"
So there's my advice: if you're stupid enough to like and trust someone named after body parts, make sure you're signed up at a really good gym so that when the inevitable happens and you're left heart sick and reeling with pain, you can at least go to the gym and work yourself into a semblance of sanity. That's where I have been all week, throwing punches and cursing the day I ever gave the smallest slip of my heart--let alone my phone number--to a big stupid Dick. I am sure there are really great guys out there named Richard, I just don't know any. And you know what? Men named Bob are EVEN WORSE. If he's still called Bobby--run. There's always a reason he never made it to Rob.
Other names seem to indicate trouble or heartbreak. Both Sissy and I have gone through hell in our lives with men named Richard, for example. They're either teachers from hell, or boyfriends who won't commit, or drunken troublemakers who borrow money and never come back. "What is it about men named Dick who break our hearts?" I asked Sissy. She replied, "Don't trust your heart to someone named after genitalia. Remember what a bitch Aunt Fanny was?"
So there's my advice: if you're stupid enough to like and trust someone named after body parts, make sure you're signed up at a really good gym so that when the inevitable happens and you're left heart sick and reeling with pain, you can at least go to the gym and work yourself into a semblance of sanity. That's where I have been all week, throwing punches and cursing the day I ever gave the smallest slip of my heart--let alone my phone number--to a big stupid Dick. I am sure there are really great guys out there named Richard, I just don't know any. And you know what? Men named Bob are EVEN WORSE. If he's still called Bobby--run. There's always a reason he never made it to Rob.
Ha, hilarious! My mum once went out with a guy called Dick Head (it's true, really, not making this up). Obviously, that didn't work out, I mean, how could it!
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean though, certain names seem to be attached to arseholes and it's hard to not feel instant aversion to these people. You gotta love the names the Chinese give themselves though. Like, Pizza, Salad, Green for service staff in one of the hotels we worked in, as well as Brave for one of the security guys.
I must admit, I've never met a Richard who hasn't turned out to be a dick.
Keep going girl, you can make it!