I Get Philosophical

There are always disasters in the world, large scale or personal, and it seems that a big chunk of them are happening concurrently; New Zealand, Japan, the tsunami that struck the West Coast... In truth there are always terrible events, and I'm sure anyone living in a war zone knows that better than just about anyone else. In my social network, several of my friends are battling cancer, my best friend has drug-resistant TB, my Chinese "parents" are ill and dealing with a son who married, moved his wife into their apartment, and now won't speak to them or let them see their own grandchild (who lives in their house.)  A tsunami, a fire, an earthquake: they happen,  and everyone is touched by them to some degree. But cruelty and stupidity and wars large scale or personal--those are preventable. People are the worst disasters.

There is a bully in my family and I had to grow up with this person and suffer through some real outrages as both a child and an adult. While the bully is no longer an active presence in any of our lives, the bully's poison has tainted us all and is still carried with us from event to event. I've been reading about cyber-bullying and rising teen suicides (really rising? or just better record keeping?) and I think, "I can understand this. I've been through it, and I struggle with the effect every damn day." Every time I do something stupid, such as freaking out and avoiding a social occasion, the bully has won. Every time  I do something courageous which takes me out of my comfort zone, such as this week's filming of a children's TV show, I think, "I've defeated the bully." I don't need to become a TV star or radio personality or celebrity to know that I have won, that the bully can't hurt me anymore: I just need to be able to fully forgive and forget and move on. Maybe I will know I have the ultimate victory over this jerk when I no longer wake up in the middle of the night convinced that I'm a worthless, ugly worm who is too damaged to be around "normal " people. Because that's what I took away from contact with this poisonous person, and from the lack of action from people who saw what was happening and decided not to intervene.

I do believe we need to give generously to help the survivors of disasters, whether it's for Katrina (those folks still need help) or to the local women's shelter. I do believe that sometimes you HAVE to stick your nose into other people's business, especially if the welfare of a child is at stake. And I do believe you have to clean up your own crap: if someone has taken a dump on your soul, you can't expect The Universe to wash you clean, you have to do it yourself. Whether that's therapy or counseling or prayer or meditation--that's your choice. But you have to do it, or you deprive the world of light. It is the lack of action on our own behalf that does the most damage.