I've had what is really a massively shitty day, through no fault of my own, and as soon as the legal smoke clears, I will write about it. In the meantime, continuing in the vein of "light-hearted ice cream snacks" I purchased the following:
He's so smiley! So friendly! Light-hearted ice cream man is FRIEND to foreigner! I unwrapped the bar, expecting something of a similar nature inside--I mean, HELL, if the Brits have managed to put the words "Holiday Rock" all the way through a stick of hard candy for the past hundred years, piping identical chocolate ice cream men into soft vanilla shouldn't be hard for modern manufacturers in China, right?After all, they invented noodles AND gunpowder and in 461 AD the concept of "pi", right? RIGHT???!??
Wrong. This is the horror that I got, all wrapped up in a little plastic coffin for verisimilitude:
Frankly, this scares the shit out of me--Demon Ice Cream!--and I am glad I didn't buy one for my godson. He's only six, and easily frightened. Note however that I did take a bite out of the creature--upper right quadrant--and I can report that not only is this a visual horror but it is a gastronomic one as well. It's not at all sweet, being sour, grainy, with a harsh chemical taste reminiscent of burning rubber. Also, in terms of the visual, he has no arms, and suffers from hydrocephalus, which is no laughing matter. Great--he's demon possessed, and Mom was on thalidomide. Is it asking too much that he's really a delightful companion, a good friend, a possessor of a great personality, or at least full of creamy goodness?
Well, I guess for a quarter, it is.
Wrong. This is the horror that I got, all wrapped up in a little plastic coffin for verisimilitude:
Well, I guess for a quarter, it is.
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