It's that time of year when the humidity is so low that any dust mites have long since decayed and turned back into dust (and now you only have to worry about internal parasites.) Newbies to China find themselves waking up with painful cracks in their heels: Old China Hands can recognize that this has happened by the distinctive Newbie limp. Yes, the lack of humidity is a bitch to deal with: you can only do so much with draping wet clothes over the radiator, keeping a crock-pot full of water turned to low, or even using a humidifier. That's all helpful, but when you go out into the cold, all unprotected parts of your body desiccate immediately upon contact with the air. The office can be even worse, as it's usually cold to boot. You will be grateful for the chilly air in the office as it helps to combat the smell of long underwear on some colleagues which has been worn a tad too long.
Solution: Vaseline. If not Vaseline, then oil of some kind--even hair conditioner. Rub it on your feet, put on a pair of slouchy sox, go to bed. Do this nightly until the humidity begins to rise above 40 percent. Make sure to rub some on your legs, your shoulders, everywhere. Otherwise, when you peel off your clothes, it will look like a snow storm. Yuck.
Solution number two: exfoliate. I not only use a handful of sugar or salt mixed with a bit of oil when I shower, but I use a pumice stone on my feet.
Solution number three: for those heels, this is the best: go to a beauty parlor and have them take a straight razor to your feet. Yes, they will use a new blade and sterilize it with alcohol as you watch. They're usually quite good, and use a cutting tool with just enough force to shave your heels down into the smooth pink beauties you remember from your teen years (unless you were, like me, a dancer, and had blackened nasty patches from toe shoes and barefoot jazz routines.)
Having written all that, I must concede that I haven't had a trip to the beauty parlor since October and I sport the nastiest-looking pair of heels this side of Hell--however, they are delightfully soft thanks to the Vaseline, which is available at most drugstores, Jenny Lou's, and the grocery section of finer department stores. Another note about Vaseline---some of my friends from Kenya use it in their noses to help them deal with the cold and lack of humidity. They put a thin smear on their nostrils and up inside their nasal passages and claim it reduces the amount of nosebleeds they get from the dry cold air. I have used it on the tip of my nose and it's good. Haven't had to lubricate my nasal passages yet but what with sex getting even kinkier now that the formerly forbidden stuff has gone mainstream, I will no doubt be reading from my financial advisor that "Nasal is the new anal." God help us all. If it does, I am investing in Vaseline.
Solution: Vaseline. If not Vaseline, then oil of some kind--even hair conditioner. Rub it on your feet, put on a pair of slouchy sox, go to bed. Do this nightly until the humidity begins to rise above 40 percent. Make sure to rub some on your legs, your shoulders, everywhere. Otherwise, when you peel off your clothes, it will look like a snow storm. Yuck.
Solution number two: exfoliate. I not only use a handful of sugar or salt mixed with a bit of oil when I shower, but I use a pumice stone on my feet.
Solution number three: for those heels, this is the best: go to a beauty parlor and have them take a straight razor to your feet. Yes, they will use a new blade and sterilize it with alcohol as you watch. They're usually quite good, and use a cutting tool with just enough force to shave your heels down into the smooth pink beauties you remember from your teen years (unless you were, like me, a dancer, and had blackened nasty patches from toe shoes and barefoot jazz routines.)
Having written all that, I must concede that I haven't had a trip to the beauty parlor since October and I sport the nastiest-looking pair of heels this side of Hell--however, they are delightfully soft thanks to the Vaseline, which is available at most drugstores, Jenny Lou's, and the grocery section of finer department stores. Another note about Vaseline---some of my friends from Kenya use it in their noses to help them deal with the cold and lack of humidity. They put a thin smear on their nostrils and up inside their nasal passages and claim it reduces the amount of nosebleeds they get from the dry cold air. I have used it on the tip of my nose and it's good. Haven't had to lubricate my nasal passages yet but what with sex getting even kinkier now that the formerly forbidden stuff has gone mainstream, I will no doubt be reading from my financial advisor that "Nasal is the new anal." God help us all. If it does, I am investing in Vaseline.
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