Just in case you've been thinking I'm a bit harsh on Chinese women, let me present the other side of the argument, the nice Chinese girl who marries (or worse, lives with but doesn't get him to commit) a Foreign Guy. There are so many asshats in this town, foreign riff raft that couldn't possibly get a job in their own country, and as most are men--and foreign men are at a premium here--they pretty much can do zip and still live comfortably. The typical unskilled foreign worker without any Chinese language skills can still land an ok job "teaching" English, despite the lack of qualifications, knowledge, background, skill, or even a command of basic syntax.
Enter the long-suffering patient Chinese girlfriend who really IS a nice person, who "loves" her foreign boyfriend, and who ends up borrowing a lot of money from her family to buy an apartment and a car so her boyfriend doesn't ever have to find a real job. Most of my male friends who married local girls treat them like shit, to be honest, and the girls tolerate it because Divorce is Bad and also, they're waiting for the payoff, a cute pale baby, and the opportunity to flaunt their exotic boyfriend/husband at the company New Year dinner.
Here is a True Tale of a horrific marriage.
She: a really lovely woman (ok, lovely on the INSIDE, but that's where it really counts) with a Master's in something bright from an American university.
He: Slope-shouldered wannabe musician.
Family: They have a baby. They have two different maids for the baby, plus someone who does the scut work (a scullery maid of sorts.) While She works a demanding job, He stays at home and strums his guitar, plays Wii, and fucks one of the nannies in his wife's bed. No kidding. I was over there a few weeks ago and he disappeared into the back room. I heard a whistle---visions of the Von Trapp family dancing in my head--and Nanny 1 looked up from the child she was tending, deeply annoyed, handed the baby off to Nanny 2, and strode into the bedroom, where I heard the unmistakable sound of humping. Ten minutes later she emerged, exchanged a look with Nanny 2, and went back to playing with the baby. He emerged shortly, not having so much as showered, picked up his guitar, and said, "Right, did you want to warm up your voice before we start recording?"
I said, rather stingingly I thought, "How's your wife?" and he replied amiably, "Pretty good. I gave her a pickle tickle before she left for work this morning, so that ought to hold her for a few days."
Gallantry may not be dead, but it's hard to find in China.
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