Gentlemen:
If you are not that hot or popular in your country, why do you think you are suddenly God's gift to women in THIS one? Is it the air? The lovely filmy haze that prevents us from seeing the sky, which suddenly veils your flaws and gives you the appearance of a Greek god? Or is it--gasp--the fact you are someone's ticket out of here?
Two things to note: several of the best marriages I have seen are mixed, between people of different countries. Of these, almost none are Foreign Man-Chinese Woman. Second, I have several Beijing-born women friends who are married to foreigners and only ONE has told me it was a love match and that she'd do it all over again. ONE! So if you're here, or thinking of coming here, read on:
For a woman of a certain age (over 25) and possibly divorced as well, a foreign man is the ONLY chance they have of a better life. Chinese men like younger women: rich men look for young mistresses, the preferred age being a freshman at university, and most "nice" boys are married off a year or two after university ends, as soon as their families can cough up enough money to buy the bride, the apartment, the car, etc. While salaries have gone up, most female teachers work like dogs and still earn only about 4,000 RMB a month. The hope of finding a love match is slim, as what decent family would want an "old" bride, one who is not a virgin, who is saddled with the curse of a divorce? Enter The Foreign Man.
He probably doesn't speak any Chinese, or it's limited. So the Chinese girl's English skills, however minimal, are not as important as the fact she can get things done, like read the shut-off notice from the gas company and go in, raise hell, and get the gas turned back on. Unless she's a top graduate of a famous university, she's not going far in her career, and let's face it, if you have the choice between driving your half-foreign kids to school in a Mercedes every day, or having to ride your bicycle in the rain to your dreary job as a receptionist or sales clerk, which would you choose?
As a Greek friend put it, "In Greece we love our friends and use money: Here, they use their friends and love money." If you're dating a Chinese girl, she will expect financial security, and soon. She may say she's ok "waiting and loving you" until your divorce is through, but you better pony up a very large engagement ring the day you're free, or else.
Let me share some tips, small things I have observed.
Number One: She will say your dick is big. Huge. So big, in fact, she can't get it in! Anecdotal evidence: I once lived next door to a semi-hooker who had a new foreign boyfriend every two weeks. Night one, she'd invite him in for a nightcap then lie and say she was a virgin good girl but maybe, if they went out again, she's consider giving in...Night two, she'd pretend she'd never given a blow job before, and her monologue consisted of, "Oh, it so big! I just want put in mouth! Oh, neber I do dis before!" Night three, she'd scream in pretend pain, "Oh, it so big! I neber know West man so big!" Night four, she'd be screaming, "Oh, only West cock make me satisfy!" Night five, post-coital tears, and a plea to buy her her own apartment as "Bad neighbor so jealous." Night six, refuse to put out until he bought apartment. Night seven, go out and look for a new sucker.
Anecdote two: I almost feel bad for mentioning this one, as a woman of my acquaintance actually pulled it on a friend of mine, WHO BELIEVED IT, but since it brought him out of a year-long funk, who the hell am I to tell him? Here it is: when you try to bed her, she's going to lie and say she can't get it in because it's too big. When, after about 28 hours of "trying" it DOES slip in dock she will scream/groan and let you know you have stretched her Hello Kitty to hell and back and now you owe her. In truth, now she owns you.
Number Two: Chinese women are incredibly selfish and manipulative and you probably won't find this out until long after the wedding, if you're lucky. The young ones were brought up as Little Empresses with four doting grandparents, parents who came into big money about 10 years ago, and with a media that insists that girls are brainless twits who deserve to be pushed around in shopping carts by long-suffering pouty boyfriends while munching sweets and whining like a demented four-year-old. Or you can be like one poor soul I know who got engaged recently to a local girl he's known for a good three months only to be told that she believes in celibacy and will continue to be celibate after marriage. Well, as I told him, at least she told you up front. Friend number two, also recently engaged to a girl he met last month, told me he and Comrade Right had the following conversation this morning.
He: Remember, we're going to Dan's birthday dinner tonight.
She: No, we're not.
He: Huh?
She: I told you you can't go. I don't want to go so you can't go. You will go with me shopping.
He: But I told Dan we're going! We're taking him out to dinner.
She: We are not wasting our money on him. He can have dinner by himself.
Nice, eh? For the record, I did tell this guy to grow a pair and tell her to back off. But my phone just rang and it was Dan wondering where the hell they were and were they with me by any chance. And once I post this, the chances that they will ever grace me with their presence will diminish like your testicles post wedded bliss.
No comments:
Post a Comment