I was scrolling through Facebook when an ad caught my eye. It invited me to pour the wine, and to make tonight amazing in minutes. Thinking I was about to be invited to but yet another porn site, I was about to log off when I noticed it was an ad for Stouffer's Stuffing Mix--for two.
Ah, the romance of stuffing! Yes, nothing spells seduction like pouring hot water and oil on a batch of dried out bread crumbs saturated with salt, MSG, and enough artificial "chicken" flavoring to make The Colonel blush! I can't imagine that any man who wanted to get into my good graces, let alone my good panties, would have the nerve to think that THIS is the ticket to romance. Damn it, good stuffing is a superb blend of succulent juices from vegetables (and meat, if you will) as well as good butter, a godly combination of sage with other herbs, and very very good bread. (A bit of cornbread adds a wonderful tang.) I would be amazed if some man made me dinner--hell, at this point I'd be amazed if some man made it to a second date--but would I drop trou at the sight of Stovetop?
I may be fairly broad-minded and perhaps a trifle too--shall we say--suibian (loose) \---but I do have my standards. I wouldn't want to insult a host, someone who cooked for me, after all, but if someone served up Stovetop with a well-cooked chicken, well, I'd certainly not complain. Stovetop and chicken from a can? I'd be out of there, fast. I've had one or two boyfriends who cooked amazingly well and I must admit a fondness for them still: they just had more going for them as people. I'm not saying I would never get involved with a non-cook, but the chances that I'd get involved with someone who was not an eater are far, far slimmer than I am. Let's face it, I will probably stay single for the rest of my life, due to a peculiar set of circumstances, the largest of which is choice: however, I can make tonight amazing in minutes all by myself, without using a packaged mix or anything that requires batteries.
Ah, the romance of stuffing! Yes, nothing spells seduction like pouring hot water and oil on a batch of dried out bread crumbs saturated with salt, MSG, and enough artificial "chicken" flavoring to make The Colonel blush! I can't imagine that any man who wanted to get into my good graces, let alone my good panties, would have the nerve to think that THIS is the ticket to romance. Damn it, good stuffing is a superb blend of succulent juices from vegetables (and meat, if you will) as well as good butter, a godly combination of sage with other herbs, and very very good bread. (A bit of cornbread adds a wonderful tang.) I would be amazed if some man made me dinner--hell, at this point I'd be amazed if some man made it to a second date--but would I drop trou at the sight of Stovetop?
I may be fairly broad-minded and perhaps a trifle too--shall we say--suibian (loose) \---but I do have my standards. I wouldn't want to insult a host, someone who cooked for me, after all, but if someone served up Stovetop with a well-cooked chicken, well, I'd certainly not complain. Stovetop and chicken from a can? I'd be out of there, fast. I've had one or two boyfriends who cooked amazingly well and I must admit a fondness for them still: they just had more going for them as people. I'm not saying I would never get involved with a non-cook, but the chances that I'd get involved with someone who was not an eater are far, far slimmer than I am. Let's face it, I will probably stay single for the rest of my life, due to a peculiar set of circumstances, the largest of which is choice: however, I can make tonight amazing in minutes all by myself, without using a packaged mix or anything that requires batteries.
I must say, I rather enjoy eating really good food on my own. I can sit and fully concentrate on my plate of food, chew every mouthful slowly and fully focused. Sometimes having to pretend to be well mannered, lady-like and sexy all at the same time is just too damned hard. Not to mention, having to pretend the guy sitting opposite is interesting, as well. Then there's also the fact you don't have to share, politely offer a taste and the rather awkward realisation you're only going to roll your eyes back into your head for the food and not his 'moves' in bed later.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing better than a good roast chook and stuffing, gravy and fluffy on the inside, crispy on the outside potatoes. Especially if you don't have to share it with a guy!