Lays, Lays, and More Lays, plus Key Lime Pie

All right, you know how I have been slagging off Lay's Flavored Potato Chips? Well,  I sampled two more types and found one to be flat-out-fall-on-the-floor delicious. The two types are pictured below. Which one gave me mouthgasm?

The first, Lay's Intense and Stimulating Numb and Spicy Hot Pot Flavor. The second, Italian Red Meat Flavor. You'd expect the second one to be spaghetti bolognaise on a chip, but you'd be wrong: it has the same pissy sweet slightly red flavor found in other Lay's chips. As for the first chip, well... since I had experienced another "Intense and Stimulating" potato chip flavor and found it about as intense and stimulating as a shy but drunken teenage date, I wasn't expecting much. But oh my my my my my, to my surprise, this was a crisp ridged chip which delivered a powerful punch of flavor. As promised, some of the pain receptors on my tongue were knocked out by the presence of ma, the coating found on peppercorns which is used a lot on Hunanese and Sichuan cooking. Ma reduces sensitivity in order to allow the tongue to accept food normally too hot to bear. The flavor was intense indeed, a bit on the hot side for me, but beautifully complemented by the sour cream I dipped it into to cool down my mouth. Ah, bliss! I will work out some dip recipe to complement this chip--possibly something with spinach--it's that good. However, since I have to watch the salt intake, I contented myself with a few bites, then tossed the contents. Of course, once I did that, someone who likes spicy food popped by for a cocktail and I was forced to serve the old standby, peanuts liberally coated with cayenne pepper. (Don't ever throw anything away.)

I have dinner guests coming over, one of whom is NOT a fan of the hot and spicy, the other one disliking chocolate. One is also allergic to nuts. This limits the menu somewhat but not so much as when vegan friends come over the same evening that your friend on Atkins is staying. (Worst night of my life, by the way.)  The menu will be simple: they order the pizza they like, I have a killer salad with three different dressings, devilled eggs, asparagus in citrus butter sauce, and for dessert, my killer brownies with white chocolate mint bits, aka Hershey Candy Cane Kisses. I just invested in two bags' worth--about 12 dollars worth of chocolate--which will cover four pans of brownies. The last dessert is Key Lime Pie, made simple for the Chinese kitchen.

Here goes. Chill two boxes of cream, 500  grams total. I use Nestle Whipping Cream, which comes in cute little 250 gram boxes. Chill your beaters (or wire whisk if you're using one) and the bowl as well. While this is chilling, grate the rind of three small limes into a bowl (mine came from Jenny Lou's, you can get them at the Marketplace as well) and add their juice. Add one regular sized can of sweetened condensed milk and stir 'til thick.

Beat the two boxes of whipping cream with the chilled beaters (about four minutes with my wussy little handmixer, or ten minutes by hand.) Beat until fairly stiff but don't tip it over into the "Come butter come" stage. Fold in the thickened milk-lime juice mixture. Fold gently until mixed. A few drops of green food coloring enhance the finished product but I don't go for the artificial stuff (despite the forays into Lays) so I don't add it. Gentle scrape into a prepared cookie crust of some kind--for example, a crust made of crushed gingersnaps, or even Oreo-type cookies. You can make your own crust-- 1 1/2 cups or so of smashed cookie crumbs or Digestive biscuits, two spoonfuls of sugar, about three tablespoons of butter, mixed, smashed into a pie plate, and microwaved for about a minute. (I adjust the recipe according to how big  my remaining knob of butter is, and other factors.) Make sure it cools thoroughly before you add any filling.

This pie is best kept frozen, or refrigerated in a very cold refrigerator. Frozen, it lasts as long as you don't have guests with spoons who like to hang around the fridge at night. I wouldn't keep it more than a day or two in the fridge, however. (Not that that's a problem around here.)

To serve, garnish with finely chopped candied ginger, especially delightful if you have put in in a gingersnap crust. Especially good with a tiny, piping hot cup of espresso.