Beijing Calzone

Do yourself a favor: run down to  Carrefour or Wu Mei or whatever big-ass store is in your area, and get one of their slow-cookers, or what Yanks call "Crock Pots." Get the local version--about 200 kuai--that features a terra-cotta bowl and cover that can be lifted out for washing.

You now have a clay oven for baking cake, bread, tandoori chicken, and killer calzone.

If you turn that little thing up to the maximum temperature and let it heat for an hour, you produce a clay oven of about 450 degrees F, perfect for calzone. Preheated, a slow cooker can cook a calzone in about 15 minutes. If you start out cold, it's going to take at least an hour.

Calzone is dead easy to make: if you don't feel like messing around with making a simple yeast dough, you can sometimes buy pre-made pate brise at Carrefour or Jenny Lou's. Fill with whatever you like--we like chopped fresh tomatoes, feta cheese, and olives, but will settle for pizza sauce (tomato paste, herbs, and a bit of wine vinegar) and fresh mozarella, plus whatever cooked veggies we have on hand. Pie dough will do in a pinch. Throw on a piece of baking parchment if you like, or rub a bit of olive oil on it and place in the Crock Pot. Cover, and do not peek, for at least 12 minutes, or until it smells delicious and the scent of baking bread fills your home. Remove cautiously. I once dropped a finished calzone on the floor and we ate it anyway, scooping up the top and the filling with spoons. Sadly, with two doggies in the house, I doubt I'd have time to squat down before they pounced on it and polished it off.

If you don't feel like doing Calzone, throw some herbs and olive oil into the Crock Pot. throw on one of those pizza bases (thick, white, flabby) available at Jenny Lou's, toss on the toppings, then close the lid. Open when it smells delicious. The oil will brown the bottom of the crust and make the whole thing taste ten times better than if you simple nuked it until the cheese melted. If you can't wait for the Crock Pot to heat up then throw your pizza base into a skillet with good olive oil and some herbs and fry crispy-golden on both sides--slide onto a microwaveable plate, put your toppings on, and nuke until the cheese bubbles. It takes the curse off, but it's just not quite as tasty as the Calzone.

I actually had curry for dinner tonight but I am dreaming of Calzone. My other ayi--not the one who looks like Oprah--broke the lid to my Crock Pot and other lids just aren't quite the same. I may break down and buy a whole new Crock Pot but my heart objects (as does my wallet.) I'm also messing around with a good recipe for Poutine, one with local ingredients, but using mozzarella instead of curds just isn't quite the same. Haloumi? And what about the gravy? Plus, how many of you wanna mess around with home-make French fries? Perhaps my recipe will begin with, "Get one big bag of fries at McDonalds..."