Puppy Love

I have two horrid little doggies, one which was my first dog ever, the other one I took in after its family had to repatriate. That one was a nice little doggy but he quickly learned that Ayi loved him to bits and he became a Little Emperor. In addition, I rescue a pet every year, help it to recover, then find a nice family for it. So far we've saved several little doggies, losing only one to distemper, and the families that adopt these pets have not turned out to be jerks. They're lucky little doggies.

As for my two divas, well, they're no dummies. Dog Number One, a four-year-old female, has been battling me to be Top Dog for quite some time. If I have her to myself for a while (that is, without Ayi) she's fine. She's docile, well-behaved, and loves to go on her walks and runs. However, if Ayi's been around, Dog Number One wants to be hand-fed, carried from place to place, and stroked constantly. Suffice to say, Princess didn't take too kindly to having other pets around--such as the rescue puppies, or our other house mate, the Little Emperor. Little Emperor, aged six, male, and with his junk still intact, is a good-natured Peke with a wide smile and forgiving nature. Unlike the Chihuahua puppy who at the age of six weeks was kicking Princess's ass (she's still terrified of the breed) The Emperor calmly stays his ground and tolerates Princess's freak outs in a manner reminiscent of my dear departed grandfather and his wife Totsy. However, even his patience is tried by Princess's latest and oddest behavior. Princess, who is spayed (or is it neutered?) has taken to mounting the Little Emperor from behind and,  ahem, trying to peg the Peke. I have no idea what Cesar Milan would say to this--must look it up.

Did Ayi teach her to do this, and if so, HOW? She is responsible for teaching them both to beg (a bad bad habit) as well as teaching them to fetch bits of sausage out of her mouth, which is so horrific that you have to see it in person to understand just how gruesome it is. Two doggies  is well beyond the legal limit and in two months' time I will have to go pay their yearly licensing fee of 1,000 RMB to keep them legal residents of the city. Actually, the rate depends on what area of town you live in, and whether or not the Animal Control Officer on duty likes you or not: sometimes I pay the foreigner's fee (2000) and sometimes the local's  (500.) Diplomats  pay only 20 kuai. Technically, only  dog can be registered to my household so Doggy Number Two will be registered to a friend who lives near by. Two dogs is a lot of work and to tell the truth, if I didn't have them I wouldn't bother having an Ayi. However, I have them, and I have her, and she loves them, so except for the drain on my wallet, and the turn of my stomach when they retrieve a Vienna sausage from her mouth,  it's all good.

However, as I was walking to work this morning I saw a woman trot by with a fat little puppy tumbling after her and my heart melted and I said "OOOOOooooooooohhhhhhh," and I realized that every hormone in my body was shouting, "Me want cute puppy!"  I'm perimenopausal and made a mental note to ask my sister to send me some of the hormone cream that Oprah raves about (now with even more yam!) and perhaps daily application will calm the forest that has sprung up on my chin and quell the puppy love in my heart. Two dogs is crazy, three is just plain nuts.