It's Spring Festival, aka "Chinese New Year" or "Chun Jie." Now that I have down time I found that I am down indeed: I have the time to play, but everyone is out of town. Most foreign people scamper off to their home countries, or at least to Thailand (if not the uber cool Cambodia/Vietnam trek) or if they're married to Chinese people, to their spouse's home town. Me? Here in Beijing. Alone with dogs. Fretting. There's lots to do, such as going through all those damn boxes and finding the cord so I can use my camera, or going through all those damn boxes and finding the cord so I can use the scanner, or going through all those damn boxes so I can find...you get the picture. I could even go crazy and wash the dishes, or brush the dogs. What I really want to do is eat huge dripping steaks and mashed potatoes and oh, junk food! While sitting in front of a telly and laughing my ass off with a couple of friends--or shagging my ass off with just one of my friends--but neither one is likely to happen. I was invited to an orgy but I declined: I will go over to Elvis One's house, but I am bringing a towel to sit on and will decamp should any of his puppets make gestures in my direction. I can't believe how dull I am right now: I have time to laugh and have fun and there's no one to play with. It's too late to book a ticket anywhere (plus what would I do with the dogs?) and I will have to Make My Own Fun. Damn. Is THIS what it's like to be retired? Remind me to never quit working. As my grandfather told me once, "I have all this leisure time but my friends are all dead. What the hell am I supposed do now?" His solution: Tom Clancy novels. Mine: I'll probably whine and post. May God have pity on us all.
I think you should take this time to find the camera cord, then brush the dogs, then take photos of your dogs and post them on one of those sites that have loads of pictures of pets (planning their owners' deaths in their sleep) looking rather embarrassed in their 'cute photo with sunglasses and high heels' pictures. You should dress your dogs up in S&M outfits, complete with large purple dildos and whips. Or better yet, style them to look like the president and premier of this great nation! Xiao Hu and Xiao Wen!
ReplyDeleteNo, don't like that idea, how about this . . . There's a website where they have photos of people as kids, then these now fully grown people re-pose the childhood photo - you know a 'then and now' theme. Some of the transformations from childhood to adulthood are absolutely terrifying.
No, not grabbing you by the tits, well looks like Elvis One will have to fill the void. Personally, I love the idea of everyone being out of town and just being able to do nothing.
Thank you for the always sensitive and insightful comments, Virg! However, you forget that it's very difficult to find anything here unless you're not looking for it, so the Lil Doggy Strap Ons and Kitty Dildos might just have to wait. Sigh. I will, however, redouble my current efforts (rating around zero) to find camera cord so I can take some good pix. Or some bad pix. Just any pix at all.
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